Thursday, September 10, 2009

Press Release Theater Vol. 1

And now for a new feature on Chupaska at Noon, from the pages of my spam email folder at work comes, Press Release Theater.

Tonight's episode:

Mr. Williams and His Rambunctious Sporting Canto:

When Monday Night Football celebrates its 40th season in 2009, Hank Williams Jr. will once again crank up the volume and welcome all his rowdy friends to watch the NFL’s biggest stars showcase their skills in prime time on ESPN. The legendary singer will perform the opening anthem for an unprecedented 21st season, a ritual that has earned him four Emmy awards (1991-1994) and national acclaim among legions of football fans.

Monday Night Football will celebrate the memorable moments and the legendary players who have been part of the longest running and most successful prime time sports series in television history all season, and the opening video with Williams will play off this with a MNF Hall of Fame theme.

Williams filmed the video earlier this summer at the Parthenon in Centennial Park in Nashville, Tenn. The grandiose Hall of Fame-like structure serves as the backdrop for the shoot and is draped with banners of NFL legends John Elway, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith and Johnny Unitas. Human statues and Hall of Fame busts come to life in the video. NFL team helmets and photos of indelible moments in MNF history also line interior shots of the Hall. Williams is surrounded by cheerleaders and rabid NFL fans. (For a behind-the-scenes preview of this year’s MNF opening video, click here.)

2009 MNF Open Lyrics
For 40 years runnin' it's football's home
We’ve seen the greats carve their names in stone
From Earl to Walter, Barry and Bo
Even Johnny U played on this show!!
The NFL's best shine under these lights
Cause legends are made on Monday Night
Are you ready for some football!!!
A Monday Night Party
This is Hank and I'm ready to get this big bash started
Get the teams on the field, kick it off, that’s right!
'Cause All my rowdy friends play here on Monday Night!
Showtime!!

We’ve seen great games all the big names
They’re building blocks in this hall of fame.
Broadway, Elway, Montana and Rice
We've seen an LT not once, but twice (Taylor and Tomlinson)
Fathers, Sons and Brothers….A Family Tradition
It’s Monday Night Football….The 40th Edition!!
Ready...
C'mon and get ready
I mean really ready
Are you ready for some football!!!
A Monday Night Party
Where primetime pigskin officially started
Get those helmets crashing, the crowd is psyched!
All my rowdy friends are here on Monday Night!!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Obama Comes For Your Children

Christ. So, there's a movement afoot to take children out of schools on Tuesday because the president has the audacity to appear on C-SPAN to speak to students about the importance of education.
And this has more than a few people in a tizzy, claiming the president is "indoctrinating" the kiddos.
Check out this email from a guy in Ohio that fell into the hands of my fellow hacks yesterday:

Greetings,

Organizational leaders, please forward this email to your entire distribution list. All others please read and take action as indicated.

President Obama is scheduled to address school students on September 8. The exact content of his speech is unknown. But it is likely to be benign, especially if it is subjected to significant public exposure. The recommended "lesson plans" coming from the Department of Education however, indicate that the opportunity is being taken at this time in order to boost the prospects of the White House's legislative agenda in general and popular support by school children of President Obama in particular. He is taking his campaign to the classroom.

Ther e is nothing in the proposed curriculum that indicates any involvement of or participation by the parents in this indoctrination; only the President, the teachers and the children. We feel that this is a grossly inappropriate use of our tax dollars and our schools for political purposes, and an inexcusable affront to parental guidance.


We urge everyone to telephone or email not only their local school superintendent and all school board members, but also all candidates for school board who are on the ballot for the November election. Local newspapers and the Board of Elections can tell you who is on the ballot for school board in each district.

1) Find out whether or n ot they support this inappropriate political intrusion into the classroom
2) If the school district decides to support this political intrusion, either ....
a. ask them to define the provision for parents to attend or
b. ask them to issue slips for parental signature approval before the children are permitted to attend
c. If the school district refuses either option above, keep the kids home on September 8.

This address may set the precedent for annual or even more frequent political indoctrination of our children by whoever may currently occupy the White House. This kind of thing has been done repeatedly by the Fidel Castro's, Saddam Hussein's, Mao Tse-Tung's, Joe St alin's and Adolf Hitler's of the world, but never by a Franklin Roosevelt or a Ronald Reagan.

Please note that only part of Thursday September 3 and all of Friday September 4 is available to take this action; Monday September 7 is a holiday and the address is to be given September 8. The short notice of this address is attributable to the White House. Please take action immediately.

Jim Woods
Medina County Friends And Neighbors

So, Jim mentions Castro, Saddam, Mao, Stalin and ol' Adolf. I know what you're thinking: Pol Pot gets short shrift yet again.

What the fuck do these mouth-breathers think Obama is going to say? "Kids, work hard, stay in school, and read a book everyday, and by "book" I mean Mein Kampf. "

It's getting scary out there, baby.

-- Stephen Chupaska

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Hello, Hello

A few weeks ago I interviewed Ben Parent, who plays guitar and sings in The Rivergods, a folk-rock group here in New London, for a story in The Day newspaper. Ben's pretty clued up on computers, and therefore had one of those electronic-stickypad-reminder things flashing that said "Chupaska At Noon."
I thought it was pretty funny and pledged if I ever host a chat show I'd call it "Chupaska At Noon" no matter the time slot. (From the Ben Folds Five, but we're actually a trio, school of wit)
It would be part Dick Cavett, part-Parkinson and mostly canceled.
Seeing how it's unlikely I'll be host of my own show any time soon, I decided to launch, well start, launch is bit grand a term, a blog, something I haven't done since the infancy of diaryland.com.

You might think "Chupaska At Noon" is a stupid and clumsy name, and you may very well be right. But it's better than these:

Rejected Names for this blog:
Hard Butter Boogie
I Bought Attainable Women Candles For All My Life
Steve's Pedestrian Erotica
Montville Chromosome Counter
Clov, Hamm, Nash and Young
Boob Acres
Moreover, Speaks To, Postcolonial
Sex With Chester Arthur

-- Stephen Chupaska